Our judgments are the dark side of the moon. Not uncharted territory as much as a proportional reflection.
Just look at the way people bring up judgments of others. The facial expressions, the energy, the biting attack. The lack of compassion, the intensity.
One thing I’ve learned about myself is that I critique others when I feel raw, insecure, unsure, uncertain, defensive, or angry. Lately, I’ve been trying to apply a built-in question every time I am being judgy…
‘Interesting. You don’t usually critique people. It’s not about them. Their differentness is valuable, they are equal to you. This judgment is about your own insecurity. Be kind to yourself and the person you’re judging. What’s bothering you?’
Or some version of that…
It’s a way to help break down reactionary otherness and keep our emotional vulnerability in dialogue with how we show up in the world.
We all could stand to be less judgy. Myself included.